And, That's How it Happens

We get reeled in, just like a mediocre fish that has just experienced its first taste of real food. We girls are swimming around in the water just  minding our own business and suddenly, the bait is there looking juicy and hearty. We take it. Take it in, absorbing and savoring the morsel. It's new, it's wonderful, it causes our taste buds to swell in delight. Unbeknownst to us, there is a sharp metal hook hidden in the culinary surprise.

 Us girls, we get wrapped up in the thought of "forever" with the man that steals our heart.  We put them before our own wants, our own dreams. Then, the terrible happens. He leaves. Leaves us to rediscover the lost woman we could have been on our own.

It begins with the first "I love you". Then the small, statements that indicate "forever".  Happily ever after never comes to life. It's just a small glimmer of hope that you cling onto. The trick is recognizing it before you have wasted a lifetime on an empty promise. Dear Lord, it's so hard.

You begin to study the statements, comments made. Then you ask yourself questions such as:

• How did I misinterpret?

• Was there a grey area?

• Am I overanalyzing that?

• Did I read it wrong?

Guess what girls…..a statement that reads.."I want to be your husband" leaves no grey area, no misreading, no cause for overanalyzing, and most of all, no room for misinterpretation. It is what it is……not the truth, I’m afraid.

Time filled with romantic comments, hopes for a dream come true, and empty promises leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth and the inevitable broken heart that only time away from the possible dream can even begin to heal.

So, we begin to work the pieces of the puzzle together one piece at a time. It's slow work. It's trying, exhausting, and disappointing. Despite the challenges of the negative efforts, it begins to take on an exciting and curious turn.

A day goes by and we realize that's the day a negative emotion did not come into play. So, then we face the days of simply existing, without emotion. We just continue to survive, keeping our heads above the dark water.

Then the bright days come into play and we, once again, start over, piece by piece putting the pieces of the puzzle together again and struggle to keep them together.

With each new beginning, we find we lose a little bit of that romance in us, a little bit of that trust, and little bit of our heart. So we become a tad bit jaded, a tad bit untrusting, and a tad bit untouchable by the good ones.

And that…..is how it happens.

Love Today.......

What is the definition of love? Is it different today than 50 years ago? Has the meaning changed? Does it still exist? If so, define it.

According to today's dictionary, love has several definitions.

1.a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Does this translate into an elderly couple who has been married for 50+years?

2.a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

Does this translate into a BFF?

3.sexual passion or desire.

Is this what results from real love?

4.a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

Does this mean the friendly male co-worker?

5.(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

Southern women use this type of love (term of endearment) at the end of every sentence. It's just what we do sweetie.

6.a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.

Does this mean the guy you are involved with has a girlfriend or wife?

7.sexual intercourse; copulation.

This says to me booty call..Can you love a booty call?

So, from all the possible definitions of love, where do single women fit in? and How do we know if we've found it, passed it up, had it, lost it, or ignored it?

We don't know until we look back on all the past "loves" and see that one that just can't be replaced. No matter what or how hard we try. So, we carry it. We carry it into the next relationship, the next booty call, the next date, just hoping, hoping for that one minute to forget the one that got away with our heart.

References:

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love

The 40 something single woman.

What is it that a woman 40 years old, 2nd divorce, no children, concentrating on a career, and college degree want from a man? It’s quite simple. At this point, we have already discovered we don’t need a man. Why would a man want to be needed? What is so wrong with being wanted? Wouldn’t it be nice to think,”she wants me because she enjoys my company?”

Wouldn’t it be nice to not think about what we want for a gift? We can go out and get exactly what we want, when we want it. We don’t have to bitch about the size, the color, the style?

Here’s a secret men, we want to be wanted, not needed. Those of us who don’t have children, don’t have them for a reason. Don’t want them. Don’t know what in the hell to do with them. Definitely don’t want to raise them. Please, they need to be teens on their way out.

Wouldn’t both sexes like to lay their head down at night with someone that simply loves them? Doesn’t need something, doesn’t need the bills paid, breakfast cooked, clothes washed. Just simply wanted?