We get reeled in, just like a mediocre fish that has just experienced its first taste of real food. We girls are swimming around in the water just minding our own business and suddenly, the bait is there looking juicy and hearty. We take it. Take it in, absorbing and savoring the morsel. It's new, it's wonderful, it causes our taste buds to swell in delight. Unbeknownst to us, there is a sharp metal hook hidden in the culinary surprise.
Us girls, we get wrapped up in the thought of "forever" with the man that steals our heart. We put them before our own wants, our own dreams. Then, the terrible happens. He leaves. Leaves us to rediscover the lost woman we could have been on our own.
It begins with the first "I love you". Then the small, statements that indicate "forever". Happily ever after never comes to life. It's just a small glimmer of hope that you cling onto. The trick is recognizing it before you have wasted a lifetime on an empty promise. Dear Lord, it's so hard.
You begin to study the statements, comments made. Then you ask yourself questions such as:
- How did I misinterpret?
- Was there a grey area?
- Am I overanalyzing that?
- Did I read it wrong?
Guess what girls…..a statement that reads.."I want to be your husband" leaves no grey area, no misreading, no cause for overanalyzing, and most of all, no room for misinterpretation. It is what it is……not the truth, I’m afraid.
Time filled with romantic comments, hopes for a dream come true, and empty promises leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth and the inevitable broken heart that only time away from the possible dream can even begin to heal.
So, we begin to work the pieces of the puzzle together one piece at a time. It's slow work. It's trying, exhausting, and disappointing. Despite the challenges of the negative efforts, it begins to take on an exciting and curious turn.
A day goes by and we realize that's the day a negative emotion did not come into play. So, then we face the days of simply existing, without emotion. We just continue to survive, keeping our heads above the dark water.
Then the bright days come into play and we, once again, start over, piece by piece putting the pieces of the puzzle together again and struggle to keep them together.
With each new beginning, we find we lose a little bit of that romance in us, a little bit of that trust, and little bit of our heart. So we become a tad bit jaded, a tad bit untrusting, and a tad bit untouchable by the good ones.
And that…..is how it happens.
